“Why bother?”

I am often asked, why ADM? If life is ultimately just a glitch, a meaningless trip from A to B that ultimately means nothing in the scope of the universe, why take the hard way? Why not just embrace the causal abstractions, fit in, go with the flow. Why not choose the path of least resistance. Facing the fire is hard. Pathei Mathos is hard. Left handed attainment is hard. These are not roads to bliss, or to comfort. This path offers little or nothing in the way of psychological satisfaction or comfort food. Surely to walk against the flow is naught but to embrace the curse of Sisyphus?

Yet, there is a vector, there is a rhyme and a reason; twofold at that. First, to be sinister, to see the world from an amoral perspective, regardless if by nature or by nurture or both, is not reversible. There is no plugging back in, there is no unlearning what has been learned. Once the magian has been realized for what it is, it can not be unrealized. Some are simply bound to the path because where they have been allows for no exit off of it.

The second is more profound, more important. I believe that even if it can not be put into words, many that find this path, find the ONA, Satanism, face the fire, do so because they are looking for something. Something behind the curtain, something at the corner of their eye, just out of view. But what?

As has been said, and is self evident, man is an animal. Possessed of the same instincts, the same visceral connection to the earth as any other. Yet the inception of language has built a barrier between the the world and how we apprehend the world. Thousands upon thousands of causal abstractions, built of language and the tricks and pitfalls thereof, occupy our mindspace and blind us from our own numinous essence, and indeed the animal reality of human experience itself.

To refine abstractions down to their basest essence, to obliterate those that fail the test of fire, fail the test of practical sinister experience, is a move directly inward, toward that numinous connection and realization of the world and that which inhabits it. With the fall of each causal abstraction the view becomes clearer, as swiping the edge of a coin over a scratch ticket reveals what is beneath bit by bit.

This is why some go to the woods, why sinister deeds are done.This is why the adversarial state of the universe and of progress through destruction is embraced. To develop a sinister empathy, an understanding and apprehension of the world around us free of the clouding and distortion of causal abstractions and forms. It is of course quite unattainable to become completely free in this, or any manner; there will always be abstractions. Yet the value of
walking this path, to some, is immeasurable. Better to see though a keyhole than be utterly blinded.

Is it worth it? I guess that depends just who you ask.

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